Thirty minutes later I’m at the final table. Former players, camera crews and viewers surround the table as my heart races. After making a stupid call with a King, Ten, I’m nearly out of the game. On the next hand I’m dealt a Three, Five. One player goes all in and another guy calls. With just a few chips left, I have no choice but to go all in. We turn over the cards. The two players reveal they both have Ace, King. I nearly duck with shame when I show my measly Three, Five. Then the flop. Before I can even look at the cards, the crowd goes nuts and everyone stand-up to cheer! I just got a straight on the flop. I’m still in the game. I hold my own a little longer and end up placing fifth in the competition.
Granted, I don’t feel comfortable going into my favorite coffee shop (Grounded on Jane street) and logging on to my profile and sending out 50 emails while they charge me for every minute. Can you put a price on your love life? Oh wait, that was the three month subsciption I shelled out.
A further unwritten rule of dressing for stand-up is “Don’t use shorts to a comedy club.” Comedy clubs want to set on a specialized stand-up comedy present and they are inclined to search down on even brand name new comedians who walk on stage donning shorts. If you’re walking on stage at a comedy club often use pants… (I suggest very long pants).
The gold digger wants you to think you’re not good enough for her, and that you need to work to impress her. Going along with that idea is a surefire way to pay for her company, and furthermore, to go home empty-handed at the end of the night. They will string you along knowing that the minute they give it up, their free paychecks may very well stop coming.
It starts off with you asking her whether she’s the jealous type. It doesn’t matter what she says, yes or no; after she answers, you launch into a story. Tell her that you and your ex used to always go to this karaoke place on Wednesday nights. It’s a crazy t-shirt country with dollar drink specials and lots of weird characters. You can elaborate here on some of the funny stuff that’s you’d see there and so on.
I had to stop in this little redneck joint called the Dew Drop Inn. Everybody that was sitting at the bar had a cowboy hat on and everybody was drunk. I asked one old fella with no front teeth how to get to the store and he spit a large wad of tobacco onto my brand new Nike’s. I quickly left the bar and found my own way.
DJ: Finally, being a DJ can really up your chances of getting in good with the hot girls who love to dance. It’s the next best thing to being a rock star, and it doesn’t require much musical talent to pull off. Women love music, and music heavily influences people’s emotional state. When you’re a DJ at a party or a rave, you’re the center of attention, and women will gravitate to you because of it.
